Jealousy

I am jelaous,

I am jealous of his family; his parents, his siblings, aunties, uncles, cousins, niece, nephew, who being his priority and able to see him everyday or at least people he would up to every day. 

I am jealous for them able to talk to him with will and I am jealous with them for every fest celebrated together.

I am jealous of all his mates, who get to sit and enjoy coffee after work, who have talked with him at night before bed, who knows his problems, who watch his favorite series together every weekend. Whenever he with them I am scared to death for anything they might do.

I am jealous of his colleagues where he spends most of time with.

 I am jealous with people who shared the same thing with him, who deal with same thing who fight the same battle and who have the same interest and priority.

I’m jealous of the guard at his workplace or at his house who gets to see and know when he come and when he leave. 

I am jealous of them for being able to see how smart he looks every morning when he off to work or when he back anytime when he finishes his work shift.

I am jealous of the barista where he always hangs up for knowing what is his favorite coffee, knows when he need hot chocolate instead of coffee or know how he want his drink like when he stress at job. 

I am jealous at the moment when he greets with a smile on his face. 

I am jealous for they able to see how he acts when he is picking money from his wallet and the cute-blur face when he don’t have idea what to order.

I am jealous of people who got his attention on twitter, on Facebook or Instagram. I am jealous for the attention he gives. 

I am jealous when he learns or knows about other people. 

I am jealous of people whom he gives his smile icon, where he put his comments and even for the tweets that he hit the favorite button.

I am jealous of his favorite place for it knows him more. When it sees he sad, when  he happy or when he worried about  things. It knows your worst.

 I am jealous for it, learning about you more than me. I totaly am broke about you and it could write a book about you.

I am jealous of his car. A space where he spend most of the time. The moments he decide to park by the road and sleep when he’s tired, the moment where he spend and hearing the song of his favorite. 

I am jealous for it drives him everywhere, but not to me yet.

 I am jealous of everything that attached to him. In fact I can feel the jealousy is in every vein

................

I know that I don’t own you,

and perhaps I never will.

so my anger when you’re with her,

I have no right to feel.

I know that you don’t owe me,

and I shouldn’t ask for more;

I shouldn’t feel so let down,

all the times when you don’t call.

What I feel I shouldn’t show you,

so when you’re around I won’t;

I know I’ve no right to feel it-

but it doesn’t mean I don’t.

-Lang leav-